A Composer's Heart

Having won a contest once in my lifetime didn't make me feel any different.  I was grateful, but the actual performance and festival felt very showy as opposed to the deep and humble channeling necessary to write the piece.  I had realized after the whole experience, that it was for depth that I wrote.  Recognition at its best is fun, but writing itself is an incomparable feeling--it's the same difference between a wedding ceremony and the experience of falling in love.  There is no point in a wedding if true love doesn't exist.  Therefore, I choose to focus on the love aspect.  Musicians can win competitions, but still not understand their art.  Only communion with the very source of your inspiration, not awards, can help you understand your craft.  At least this is the conclusion I've drawn, even if inaccurate.  Love for someone or something is the universal center, while the rest is just celestial debris.

To Sell or To Be

I think the crux of any philosophical debate among artists boils down to whether you want to sell or not...whether you seek success in a real career, or personal success.  There is nothing wrong with either, for variety is the spice of life!

The pain begins when a fine artist/musician has to be concerned with turning a profit in order to continue doing what he/she loves with every breath.  There IS a solution, but first one has to come to terms with the subconscious mind and free it from any notions of right or wrong.  Next, one must decide what truly lies within one's heart:  If you crave fans, collectors, fame, and fortune for your work more than the work itself, then become the business savvy artist--leverage your contacts, know the market, build your value and do all the things they teach in business/marketing courses on how to gain exposure and sell.  They will tell you not to give things away for free all the time and techniques on how to respond when people want freebies or discounts.  Now if your heart's desire is to produce an expression that answers only to a mysterious calling, and is entirely unconcerned with the result, then it is best to keep a day job or part-time work so you can create with carefree abandon, since your living necessities are not affected by public reception.  It is important that you are able to stay true to your inspiration without stress over finances.

There are always exceptions and lucky are those who didn't ask for fans, yet fans asked for them.

Yes, a true artist may suffer, but in the end, he/she leaves a lasting impression when that interior life has finally been revealed.

Suffering

I often wonder about all the forms of suffering and feel that there must be a reason for its perpetual existence.  Perhaps the materialistic businessman must someday experience the pain of being a mother unable to feed her own child, only then can his compassion blossom--then will he understand a mother's love through firsthand experience.  The strife is here for a reason.  They are the tests and processes by which we stretch our souls.  Often you will notice that following a dark period of life is a feeling of renewed strength and deepened bliss...if we can make it through.

Evolving

A seeker's soul is never at rest, that mysterious impulse to complete a spiritual quest.  An awakened soul is forever at peace, no matter the terms of this earthly lease.

Gathering Thoughts

So much to say...day by day.