A Composer's Heart

Having won a contest once in my lifetime didn't make me feel any different.  I was grateful, but the actual performance and festival felt very showy as opposed to the deep and humble channeling necessary to write the piece.  I had realized after the whole experience, that it was for depth that I wrote.  Recognition at its best is fun, but writing itself is an incomparable feeling--it's the same difference between a wedding ceremony and the experience of falling in love.  There is no point in a wedding if true love doesn't exist.  Therefore, I choose to focus on the love aspect.  Musicians can win competitions, but still not understand their art.  Only communion with the very source of your inspiration, not awards, can help you understand your craft.  At least this is the conclusion I've drawn, even if inaccurate.  Love for someone or something is the universal center, while the rest is just celestial debris.